I'm a self-proclaimed Hurricane with THE best intentions but let's cut to the chase.
Hi I'm Callie, and I am learning.
I am learning to understand the importance of SHOWING UP in life--even when I don't want to (Resistance is a Bitch).
I'm learning to acknowledge and give space to the little girl in me who never got to Show Up like she wanted to.
I am learning what Authenticity really means to me, and not just trying to live some bull shit meme version of it I found on Instagram.
I'm learning that trying to creatively start and run a small business is really fucking hard (Again, Resistance is a Bitch).
I'm learning that I am wiser, more all-knowing, and more soulful than I could ever have imagined.
I am learning balance--in walking and in life ;)
I am learning to love my Body and treat it with the same Respect I'd show a loved one.
I am learning to trust in, and nurture my Intuitive tendencies.
I am learning to LOVE all of myself, even the shit storms I cause.
I am learning that the more Consistently and Consciously I Show Up, the closer I am to my Higher Self.'
Can you relate?
I'm not shiny or fancy, and my story sure feels a hell of a lot messier than it probably looked like on the outside, but 2017 is the year I finally grew my balls. It is the year I finally started sharing what I wish I would have known years ago.
Now the 'Who, When, Where, What' details are not important. To some extent I'm sure our stories are the same. Beautiful and Different, but similar. What I want you to take away from my words is to know that the Struggle, the Resistance and the MESSINESS we experience on this earth can give way to Clarity, Growth, and Euphoric Spiritual Awareness... if you Show Up for it. Because you are Here. In this moment. Why do you keep living like you're waiting for something else?
If it's ok with you, I'd like to share my story now.
I was raised in Wisconsin, USA. But the only thing I took from there was my Fargo-ish midwest accent, love for old Red Barns and taste for cheap, cold beer. I never felt like I fit in, and fought that SO hard. I cared way too much about what People thought of me. Like for some reason I needed their approval. But I always knew my Soul had More in store. More goals. More Money. More Authenticity. More Empowerment. More Self-Worth. More Love. More to my Purpose here in this lifetime.
When I signed on for this journey, I knew I had a Shit Long way to go. I was Naive, and felt ill-prepared. I was trying to make my life Epic, while still trying to fit in and follow the, 'Millennial's Guide to Fame, Fortune, and Success' rulebook that they shelled us copies to in High School. So I went to college. Studied Hard. Got good grades. Worked 3 jobs (Uff Da). Paid my own bills. Graduated with Honors (and debt free, whoaaaa). And along the well worn path I picked up the nasty habit of catering to everyone but ME. I was a mess, and not even a Hot one. I was THE definition of co-dependency. And I had completely lost any and all communication with my Authentic Self. It showed.
It showed in the way I took care of myself (Freshman 25 ya'll). It showed in way I dressed myself. The way I did my hair. The Life Choices I made. It showed in the friends I chose (drinking buddies, not Soul buddies), the Guys I dated (the 'I got 99 problems---and none of them are mine' relationships). It Showed Up and manifested in ways that now I can only see as intense Hiding. I wasn't Showing Up, I was letting life show ME up.
Looking back now and connecting the dots, I now clearly see that my Higher Self was trying to do the Showing Up for me, through my Intuition. Bless Her for that. While I ignored it most of the time, I Showed Up when it mattered. I Showed Up for the Big and Scary Life changes with Nerve, Stubbornness, Intensity and Grit. I swear I lead myself into deep and dark trenches just to show myself that I could climb my way out (creating Chaos is a hobby of mine...). I had lessons to learn and the only way to learn them was the hard way.
Those years were beyond Shit Show. Filled with pain, anxiety, depression, and Zero self-worth. I was pushed to the edge. So I jumped.
And it was in the Free Fall that I found myself. I found the tenacity to stop pretending--and start listening. I started to make choices on what Felt Good. Learned to say No to what didn't.
I chose the relationships that gave me energy--and said painful goodbyes to the ones that took it away. I started Showing up as Callie, and not the girl I thought I should be.
I CHOSE to dive head first into Personal Development. Every book. Every Audible. Every Inspiring Instagram account I could get my hands on--I was there. I hoarded inspirational memes like I was hoarding Clean Air---IT FELT GOOD. Really Good. Finally. And I made a commitment from that point to start Showing Up. Because I knew without a doubt in my Soul that I could never go back to the life I once knew.
I didn't want to go back to that life because that life was not Me. The pain and resistance I feel during growth, expansion and change is dwarfed by the pure ecstasy I feel of the Alignment and Authenticity I am growing into.
To be Real and Raw with you, I've done more hiding in my Conscious Awakening now, than before I ever started. I'm slowly flexing my Intuitive muscles and most of the time it really doesn't feel very good. It makes me feel resistance and anger, and I often question everything that I do. But with the help of trusted Mentors and the Beautiful Souls I've let into my life--I have ways to cope. I have tools and routines in place to remove the shit storms and take me to a place of clarity.
And what's really fricken cool, is that each time I push a little bit farther. A little bit harder. I see changes in myself. Changes in my everyday life. Changes in those around me. The Universe has started to bend more towards me, the more I create Space for it. So I've started Showing Up every day. Whether that is messaging friends I haven't talked to in a while. Calling my Mama. Choosing an Audiobook over Crappy Music. Taking on Extra Jobs to get me the tools I need. Taking Accountability for my Life and Circumstances. Excercising. Volunteering. Sharing my Thoughts, and Ideas on Social Media. Setting Fitness Goals. Re-writing my Money Story. Setting NUTRITIONAL goals. I CONTINUE TO SHOW UP.
I made a commitment to Showing Up every day and When I did, Callaboration came through.
I want to be clear that Callaboration chose me. I did not chose it. The vision and goal She has is so much bigger than any one person. And She's been nagging me for years to bring Her to life, Show Up, and Help YOU Show Up.
Callaboration is a space for me. A space for You. and a Space for More. It's a place for you to get to know me, to witness the adventure, struggle, messiness and JOY to Authenticity. To Join Me. To Join Others. To Find Accountability and Guidance in the Shit Storms, and to explore and express YOU.
That nagging you feel, that presence just beyond your reach, is You. The Real You. Your Higher Self. Take a moment to just Feel. Stop forcing through your head, and start vibing through your heart. What is it you feel you are here to do? I have a feeling you already know. Now Step into the flow and let's roll.
For Me. For you. for more. #callaboration
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